How to find fulfilment

Feeling lost and stuck

You have a stable job and a career. You have a family and you have friends. Things in life seem to be going okay.

Generally, you’re comfortable. In a way, this is everything you ever wanted. Or, it is everything you thought that you should want.

In school people told you that if you studied hard, got good grades, and then got a job and started a family, you’d be happy. That’s what life is about. Just listen and follow.

But now that you’ve done all that, you realised that you’re not actually fulfilled. Something’s missing and you’re not quite sure what it is. You can’t quite put your finger on it.

You’ve tried to find the answers in self-help articles and motivational events. You’ve been for meetups and workshops and seminars. You even tried to get the answer from friends and people you know.

But nothing really resonated with you. It’s great that other people have figured their lives out, but where’s your answer? Why isn’t it working for you?

How we got here

At some point in our lives, we start to cruise. Our lives settle into a routine. We figured out how to feed ourselves, how to maintain friends, how to sustain a family.

So we start asking ourselves the big question. Is there is more to life?

But before we even begin to answer the question, we must figure out how we got here. How did we end up feeling lost and unfulfilled?

We chose the life we have now, at some level. We made a series of decisions that got us here.

If we don’t address the root of our emptiness, we can’t make a different choice. The forces that led us here would make us repeat the same mistakes again and again.

Our lives are largely driven by unconscious forces.

When we were younger, our parents told us what to do. As we got older, our teachers and professors told us what to do. Today, our bosses tell us what to do.

We made a series of decisions that were never conscious. We never took the time out to think and figure out for ourselves what we truly wanted.

Underlying our desire to conform are our social, emotional, and psychological needs. Growing up, we needed to survive. We sought safety, approval, attention, love, and care from the people around us. How they taught us to behave ended up becoming the blueprint for our lives. These learned behaviours became the maps we used to navigate the world.

Therein lies the problem. These maps were given to us. We were so busy trying to survive, we never figured out what truly mattered to us.

Longing for meaning and fulfilment

Because we did not consciously choose this life, we get subtle hints that we’re off course. We experience these hints as feelings of restlessness, boredom, emptiness, lostness, stuckness, perhaps simply a vague sense of dissatisfaction.

On the positive end, we may even feel:

  • Desire to quit our job
  • Desire to find our passion
  • Desire to make an impact
  • Desire to travel
  • Desire for more freedom
  • Desire to know ourselves

There is a desperate voice inside, insisting our current lives are no longer enough.

If we answer with courage and resolve, we change both ourselves and our lives. If we answer with fear and doubt, the voice gets silenced. Our lives continue as before, and we become bitter and resigned.

The answers are within

How do we truly answer the question of what to do with our lives?

Many people tend to seek externally for the answer, at least in the beginning. They travel, seek advice, attend seminars, and read self-help articles.  But the external search is futile.

Nobody can give us the answer that we seek.

The answer can only come from within us.

Start with you

You are the key. Only you have access to your truth. Only you can find what fulfils you.

Inside you, there is a calling that unleashes your full talent, energy, and being. Something that brings forth your full potential. Something that inspires you to come alive.

That something is waiting for you to discover it.

You must find a way to access the truth within.

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